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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25353361">Where?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TS_RoyalTea/pseuds/TS_RoyalTea'>TS_RoyalTea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It’s All About The Interpretation [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Manipulative Deceit | Janus Sanders, Secret Relationship, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slight Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Slight Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman “Princey” Sanders, Sympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:35:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25353361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TS_RoyalTea/pseuds/TS_RoyalTea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Where has Remus been all this time? <br/>Where had Janus been those three days before Remus decided to shut himself away and let his existence be blanketed by Thomas’ subconscious due to underuse?<br/>Where did the perfect family relationship between the Dark Sides all go wrong?<br/>Where in Janus was the heart so broken that he uses others to get his end result?<br/>Where is the line between what clarifies as Dark and Light Sides?<br/>And just where does Janus plan to finally end this charade he’s been living?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Past King Creativity/Deceit | Janus Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It’s All About The Interpretation [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Where?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ooooooo boi! It’s part two!! There’s absolutely going to be a Part Three if this series, do perhaps bookmark it or subscribe! But I’m actually High-Key thinking of adding a fourth part and considering if there’s enough plot to give you a satisfyingly fluffy ending in a Part Five... idk y’all— We’ll see as we go along!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janus remembers what it was like before Patton grew too big for his britches and shoved a stick up his ass.</p><p>Janus remembers when he and Paranoia would talk late at night and debate whether Santa Claus was real or not, and why Thomas’ parents were so okay with a random old and creepy man breaking and entering their house while they’re children slept!</p><p>Janus remembers laughing with Morality and baking pieces of bread that Thomas’ mom has tried to spot him how to make, but their host never really got it. He and Morality had and they had fun rolling the bread into tiny snakes and admiring his scales in a shiny pan.</p><p>Janus remembers when he and Logic would playfully debate on matters such as if going to school was actually beneficial or if it was just a dumb societal tradition society made you believe you needed public education to go anywhere in life.</p><p>But Janus’ favorite memories of before the split, were the times with his King. The times they spent in his zen garden and watched the Venus fly traps snack on bugs attempting to disturb other plants. The adventures they had in the village where Romulus, King, would promise Janus his safe and speedy return, kill some fantastical monster and come back with some rare item for Janus to create into a potion to save the town or fair maiden from some sort of sickness, poison, or curse.</p><p>He missed those times greatly...</p><p>Thomas had been 10 years old when King Creativity split, but the sides were always older so they were more mature and able to help their host make better decisions. And so when Janus was about 16, he realized he had fallen in love with Romulus.</p><p> Janus had fallen in love with Romulus’ big green eyes that sparkled with pride every time he came up with a new idea. He had fallen in love with Romulus’ bold stance and loud voice that commanded everyone’s attention. He had fallen in love with his obvious need to please, And was more than happy to give him compliment after compliment until Janus was the only one to see him truly smile. <br/><br/></p><p>Janus was 19 when Thomas found out he was gay, and began an actual relationship with Romulus. Into that point, the King has been dead set on following the book— the fairy tale book that is. As a King, he must have some beautiful queen. But Janus knew he never felt anything for any of the women he met inside the Imagination.</p><p> That was another thing Janus loved about him. Romulus’ endless supply of hope, positivity and gentleness. He was kind to all creatures big and small, beautiful like himself or ugly like Deceit. He painted his world, his kingdom, the Imagination, in beautiful pastels and soft shades of yellow were present everywhere as a gift to him.</p><p> They spent a lot of their time together. And thinking back, maybe that’s what caused Morality to finally flip his lid. Janus was having Thomas become more and more selfish, since the poor overworked boy needed it, but that stupid oaf didn’t approve.</p><p> Romulus and he had enjoyed only a few months together filled with passionate kisses, loving make-out sessions, and wonderful nights alone together before Patton ruined it all.</p><p>Because as Thomas grew older, he began to learn more things. He learned about death, and he learned of stories of plague and pestilence and punishment in the Bible his parents viewed so fondly. And so Romulus began to take ideas and creativity from those new things as well.</p><p>His King would’ve never made Thomas stay up late due to nightmare on purpose— But it was so amazing to think of all the possible monsters that might be hiding in Thomas’ closet. It was exciting to look out Thomas’ second floor window and wonder if they could jump down into a trampoline at the bottom without breaking their legs. It was just in his design to create things, never just the things that were Patton-approved. But of course, Romulus has taken it too far.</p><p>Janus remembers that day better than anyone, except perhaps maybe Patton since he was responsible for it all. Romulus had convinced Thomas to climb into a tree despite Logic’s warnings that it wasn’t such a good idea. And even after Thomas’ mother told him not to, Romulus’ curiosity couldn’t be quenched.</p><p>So there their host went, racing towards the tallest tree. Far across a yellow field that reminded Janus of when Romulus yelled, “Follow me!” With glee.</p><p> And there he went, wondering how the world might look from us so high. It was one step up to another. One branch them to another. They climbed higher and higher. They climbed until they reached the sky itself was smiling down on them. It had seemed it at least. Romulus was ignoring Paranoia’s anxious babbling and enjoying the moment when suddenly a squirrel appeared.</p><p>Romulus has only been trying to make Patton feel better. He suggested Thomas to pet it since the ‘moral‘ side loved small animals so much. But it was too far away. The world was a blur as Thomas fell down a good few feet from the tree in his Aunt Patty’s backyard and broke his arm that day.</p><p>The rest leading up to Romulus’ forced separation of the things Patton found acceptable and the things he didn’t was a blur from them on though. Romulus was angrier than Janus had ever seen him. He was snarling and screaming. Tears poured down his cheeks as he yelled at Patton and told him he was wrong.</p><p>And then his King was screaming for an all new reason.</p><p>His body glowed with blue magic that made his veins look frozen and his natural tan looked pale and icy. Patton’s face was determined as he grabbed at this wonderful glowing light inside Romulus’ chest and ripped his hands apart. And with it, Romulus’ body disappeared as well. It took a long time. Almost 20 minutes of Janus crying silently into his glove as Patton attempted to calm down and deny that this was in anyway his fault far too loud for anyone not to hear him.</p><p>There were two smaller sides now, roughly the same age as Thomas, maybe a bit older though. Perhaps 12 or 13? They were separated in the most cliche way possible with royal red and lime green, and white and black. Janus bit down a laugh at just how extra Romulus was even in death.</p><p>Janus doesn’t quite remember the argument they had when the MindScape shifted to accommodate the ‘Dark Sides’ banishment. All he remembers is that one of the Creativities knew about Romulus, and one didnt.</p><p>He desperately wanted both to remember, because if maybe they both remembered Romulus would come back to him! But he was fighting a losing battle. He stubbornly took at least half of what was his then though. He took the half that no one else would want, because when he started dating the King, he told him it’s because he loved all of him. And he did.</p><p>Unfortunately, just not for long.</p><p>Janus thought things would be okay eventually. He, and the side known as Remus now, were getting along well. Janus was able to be a bit more affectionate than normal with him since he didn’t seem to have any concept of where boundaries lied. But that was more than alright.</p><p>What wasn’t alright, was how Remus was clearly and steadily getting worse and worse. Janus had to fight tooth and nail for Remus to be heard often enough to not just fade away. Remus was the only part of Romulus he had right now. And without Remus, there was no chance of Romulus ever returning either.</p><p>And so as Thomas grew older, Remus grew more and more unbearable. Janus was having trouble reminding himself that the crazed side rocking back and forth in a ball in the corner was Romulus and not some deranged lunatic with a concussion. But he pushed through. He was able to convince Remus that the things about him that he loved weren’t connected to the things he remembered from Romulus, and he was even able to date him too. They flirted for a long while, then kissed and suddenly they were fucking. Remus was much too rough and eager to be the slow, loving sex he had with Romulus, but it was better than nothing. And at least he had another side down here to rant to.</p><p>He relied on his friend Paranoia, until there was no one left to rely on. He had depended on the gothic side to keep him sane when Remus insisted on babbling for hours on end about just how ‘amazing’ it would be force a live worm into a an’s urthera and see how far it could crawl inside him. He needed Anxiety, Paranoia, Virgil— whoever the hell his friend was to remind him that there was hope for things returning back to the way they used to be!</p><p>But Anxiety left them, and more importantly Janus, in the dark. Literally. He lied directly to his face about where he had been sneaking off to every month or so until one day he came back and began to pack his shit.</p><p>”And what /aren’t/ you doing?” Janus asked in his latest fascination, sarcasm. Virgil growled and lashed out at him. He blamed him for Remus’ thoughts for encouraging him. He blamed him for getting them kicked out of the Light Side’s place in the first place. He claimed him to be nothing more than a slimy, rotten snake. But perhaps worst of all, Virgil in his anger blamed him for Romulus’ death. Because when he had taken on the mantle of Self-Preservation, he had agreed to keep everything Thomas wanted shut out, out. He should’ve held back the idea of climbing that stupid fucking tree.</p><p>”What was I supposed to do?! Know what was going to happen before it happened?! What a brilliant plan Virgil! I’ll be sure to do that in the future!”</p><p>”Well if you listened to Logan maybe you would’ve known! HE predicted it! You were just too fucking blind to see that he was doing any wrong! And now you’re standing with all the worst parts of him rather than with Thomas!”</p><p>Janus’ rage bubbled over into something nasty. “OH FUCK OFF!”</p><p>”MAYBE I WILL!”</p><p>”GOOD! AND DON’T BOTHER COMING BACK!”</p><p>Virgil threw the old jacket King had created for his old friend directly at his face. And when he removed the fabric, Anxiety was already gone.</p><p>Too bad his words couldn’t be erased that easily. Was Remus really all the worst parts of Romulus? Janus took a few days to himself as Remus sobbed and screamed and tore apart their side of the MindScape, but he didn’t really care since he needed to think.</p><p>When you really think about though... Remus, out of the two twins, was the one who would suggest climbing into a tree. Remus was the one who loved nature in its dirty, filthy naturalness. Remus was the one who would’ve recklessly let his eagerness to be accepted by someone to let Thomas fall. Especially since with the way he’s been lately, Remus would’ve likely thrown Thomas out of the tree without any squirrel needing to be present.</p><p>Now he knew that Remus wasn’t the part of Romulus he needed. And so about a month later he told Remus sweetly that they were taking a break. He didn’t mean it. He just didn’t want to have to deal with Remus acting out all of a sudden because Janus didn’t want him around anymore. Which also meant that he had to still be friendly with him and tolerate him for a few hours a week.</p><p>He went up to the Light Sides after telling Remus of his surface level plans, to get himself accepted by Thomas and get Virgil back. But really, he flirted constantly with his ex’s twin brother with absolutely no shame. He teased his ex-best friend cruelly. And when he didn’t get what he wanted after a second valiant try, he sent Remus to do his dirty work.</p><p>And for the first time in forever, Remus actually did something worthy of his time! He scared Thomas, Virgil, and Patton so badly that they were willing to listen to Logan of all sides! Remus somehow got them all believe into Patton to be too much and too strict— which Janus had believed all along. This allowed Janus to swoop in after the inevitable wedding disaster and turn everything against Patton.</p><p>The side finally cut the crap and showed Thomas what a monster he is. And at the end of it, he won. He won at the cost of insulting Roman, but he knew he would find a way to make it up to him.</p><p>Immediately after his victory, he completely forgot about Remus. He didn’t return to the Dark Side as promised because his plan had gone surprisingly well. He didn’t need to ever go back there. And even when the MindScape shifted into some kind of whole once again when he apologized thoroughly to Roman and explained that he was only referring to Romulus.</p><p>He was able to convince Roman that the evil twin jab had been instinct because he was like a kindergartener pulling a girls pigtails. He confessed to liking him— loving him even and poured out his soul about everything he had ever liked about Romulus, and found most of those things to be true in Roman too. He had kissed him deeply and even shown him just how much he loved him if you get what he means.</p><p>Only... Roman’s eyes were boringly brown. And Roman would never have the depth Romulus had to his ideas since Remus had mysteriously stopped chiming in at all. But Janus was grateful. He didn’t have to reveal Roman and his relationship to the nasty Duke. He didn’t have to pretend to like him anymore. He didn’t have to work so hard to keep his ideas at bay anymore, and now had so much more time to himself and for Roman.</p><p>Even though for some reason Roman was actually worried about Remus as the first week passed by. Janus had promised to check on him in front of everyone, and sunk out to the Duke’s room. He didn’t bother knocking since Remus was so annoyingly desperate for affection that he’d let Dracula in it it meant getting a hug as he was drained of all his blood. It was pathetic really.</p><p>But what he saw really put the icing on the cake. Remus was incredibly pale and unmoving for the most part on his bed. His lips were moving as a strained whisper spoke of all kinds of atrocities that usually would be told to another side or written down or acted out in the Imagination.</p><p>It’s clear he hadn’t moved for a long time, perhaps even these past few days where they hadn’t felt his influence? And with one look around the room, Janus could see the darkened shadows of the subconscious come crawling through the cracks of the walls and such to slowly begin wrapping around Remus until they would consume him fully.</p><p>He was dying. And Janus couldn’t be happier. Thank /god/! Roman wasn’t perfect because he wasn’t Romulus, but he was certainly better than Remus. And Janus had hope that of Remus faded away, that Roman would become more like Romulus, or even fade away as well one day to form the real Romulus yet again.</p><p>And with that thought, Janus smirked at Remus’ trembling weak form and sunk back out without Remus noticing at all. He used his role as Deceit to easily spin a lie about how Remus was fine. He said a few awful things about Virgil and Roman just to make them hurt and be sure that the only two people who semi-cared about, or at least felt responsible for, him wouldn’t check up on him.</p><p>His wors were believed by everyone with sad sighs or angry cussing directed towards the quietly dying side.</p><p>Everything had been so, so good. Up until just before the Subconscious swallowed Remus whole and for forever, Roman’s guilt caught up with him. Janus tried to stop him, really he did. But his commotion had somehow alerted Logan and Virgil, and soon Patton. They were all confused as to why Roman couldn’t go see Roman, and Virgil, that fucking traitor, called out the nervousness in his voice when he lied and claimed he just didn’t want them to be bothered by his ‘Remus-ness’.</p><p>An hour later, after having put up hopefully long enough of a fight, Logan was the one who finally opened Remus’ door just as a large shadow hovering over Remus’ bed enveloped him in darkness completely.</p><p>Logan screamed in horror and Roman quickly ran to the door only to collapse into uncontrollable tears. Virgil looked both terrified, guilty, and confused.</p><p>It wouldn’t be long until they figured out what had occurred and where Remus had really been all this time and not in the Imagination like Janus claimed. And he didn’t want to be around when that happened.</p><p>He already knew his relationship with Roman was dead, and Remus was too. So he simply sunk himself out to his bedroom, locked the door and began slamming his fist into the wall.</p><p>Where, oh where, had his plans gone wrong?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, your kudos and comments make me soooo inspired to write, and I got so much love on the first part of this that I’ve actually written the second part without procrastinating for a month 😅<br/>Love y’all kiddos!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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